I, like most of my friends and family, have fucked-up eyes. I need to see, but I refuse to purchase contact lenses. Yes, the thought of sticking something in these angel eyes scares me to death. Therefore, I have glasses. I really only wear them at night when driving or whilest I’m on the computer (though I probably should wear them at work more often because I’ve confused “6” with “8” many a time). This isn’t about aesthetics or wanting to look pretty. They just don’t need to be worn all the time, but I carry them with me nonetheless.

Anyhow, I didn’t get my first pair of lenses until I was in college. My parents didn’t care enough about me (read: no insurance!) to take me to the optometrist. And now that I think about it, the dentist either. Sad face. I think that’s why I’m so obsessed with dental hygiene - because I’m afraid of visiting the dentist. But I digress…

First pair: black thick-rimmed. I thought I was cool to have semi-Buddy Holly glasses. When I look back at this photo, it’s clear to me I was not cool (or ever will be) and that these were too small for my fat face. And I paid full price for these damn designer frames (Gucci or something). Fortunately, these were run over by a car (not mine) and smashed to pieces. Yay to my clumsiness!

Second pair: clear pink grandma glasses. These were literally the cheapest pair the Eye Care Center offered. Plus, I thought they framed my fat face quite well. Who cares if they were marketed towards the 55+ folks? I defy generational fashion! Unfortunately, some bastard stole them at Daniel’s house one night. He will die.

Third pair: wine-colored frames that cost $5. I knew what pair of glasses I wanted next; Sally Jesse Raphael frames! I couldn’t find any similar ones at my optometrist’s office, so where did I go? Yes, my trusty old Value Center. These were so perfect, but for some reason people always asked me if they had a prescription. No, I am not the type of person who wears glasses for the sake of wearing glasses. I need them to see! Unfortunately, I sat on these. No joke.

Fourth pair: blue-framed lenses from Daniel (read: free!!!). My friend Daniel had these laying around in his room one day and he gave them to me (OK, maybe I was like, “Gimme!!!” And he did). Mommie Dearest and Sister Sister (plus most of my friends) insisted I put a prescription in these babies. I finally had to because of the disaster with pair #3. I still think they make me look like I’m trying to look younger, but they work. Again, everyone asks if they have a prescription. Fortunately, these are going to be my spring/summer pair because I decided I want to get a fall/winter pair as well. It finally dawned on me that I don’t need huge frames to balance out my enormous face (thanks to the kind lady who made me try on a dozen or so pairs), so I’ll be heading back in November to get my first real pair of what I call “adult frames”. I’m growin’ up, y’all!

What about you, my lovely readers? Do you wear glasses? If so, do you choose a pair to match your style?

ETA: Reading about everyone’s frames makes me want to get a ton more so that I can match them with my outfits.